Somehow i feel like i am breaking down soon. I've been trying to be optimistic and act like i am fine which is the part of me that i dun like. Why do i always hide my inner most feeling so that i wont make ppl worry and feel unhappy for me. Yes sch work contributes e most to my moody-ness. But other things also. Sometimes i tried my best to understand everyone in my life yet i feel that i still needs to be understood. Perhaps i m too weird to be understood and when i am unhappy or dislike something i will still keep it to myself.The closer i am to a person,the more i will hide it. I feel like i need a big big hug cos i am feeling so scare and so lost... So not sure what am i supposed to do so that i will not feel so down. Sometimes i even have e thinking of being tired of my life..tired of every single thing. But then when i think of my loved ones, somehow i will try to embrace myself and show them that i am happy. I think i am a good actress.. Cos even my parents cannot really tell sometimes.
Enough of the emo-ing part. I will be fine soon but this seems like a cycle.Perhaps thats why life has its ups and downs. Next week is quite stressful week. cos of the 2 tests and i dunno why i dun have e motivation to study again. But then i know i have to force myself to. Because of the test i will only have project and then its Chinese New Year. Now it don't seems like a big deal to me anymore. its like oh CNY is next week! So? haha
i felt stupid that i took so long, wasted so much of ur time to realise and sort my thoughts out. and i dunno what to say to u for being there for me all these while.
